Yesterday while in the Goodwill, I was told that I was a bad parent by an older woman roughly in her mid sixties. Now, before I tell my story, it's REALLY important that I give some background on my son Alex and my parenting style.
*Ahem*....
Alex is very intelligent. He has ALWAYS been a mimicker. He mimicks sounds we make, faces we make, and things we do. It's all a game to him. However, this amusing trait of his has actually helped him to become verbal at a very early age. Since he was ten months old (he is now 11 months old), he has been able to communicate with Tyler (my husband) and myself verbally, though it's very limited (what else can you expect of a 10-month-old infant?). We have taught him to say the following words and he understands their meanings: up, please, yay, I did it, boo, hi, bye. So, when he wants us to pick him up, we have him say, "up, please." He WILL say it. Often times he'll say it before we even ask him to. Other times we have to coax him to say it. Sometimes he throws a tantrum before he finally says it. If he doesn't say it, we don't pick him up (if he is injured or if something is wrong, we don't follow this procedure. We simply pick him up and console him). I don't want my son to learn that throwing a tantrum gets him what he wants.
SO.....that being said, here is my story....
Yesterday, my younger sister, Clara, and I were at the Goodwill. Alex was sitting in the basket (because he weighs 21 pounds and I'm pregnant). After a few minutes, he decided he wanted out of the basket. I didn't want him on the floor, and I didn't much feel like holding him, nor did Clara, because he is SO FRICKEN HEAVY, so I gently told him that he was not allowed out of the basket. About five to ten minutes later he was still a bit whiny and putting his arms out to be picked up, so I decided that I would hold him. I told him, "Say 'up please.'" He got frustrated, squirmed and starting whining louder. I gently told him 'no' and asked him again. After about two minutes of this, I looked up to see a woman in her mid sixties staring at me with a look of absolute disgust on her face, as if I had just slapped my son. She looked me right in the eye and said, "He's just a baby!" I responded by saying, "Oh, he's really smart. He can say it, he does all of the time." She then said very nastily, "You're not training a DOG, it's a BABY." I decided this was going nowhere pleasant, so I proceeded to walk away from her. My younger sister, however, got into a nasty argument with her in which the woman told her I was, in many different words, a bad, emotionally abusive mother, to which my sister responded by saying that she was an old hag that needed to mind her own business because it wasn't HER child to be giving pointers about in the first place. Much more was said, but I don't recall the exact details.
So, in a nutshell I was profusely offended by her remarks, because I did nothing harmful in any way to my son. I never raised my voice at him, I wasn't physically rough with him, I didn't even ignore him. I just asked him to verbally communicate with me in a way he already knows how so that he will learn to get what he wants in the appropriate way. I though I was teaching Alex valuable life lessons. Apparently all I was doing was training him like a dog.
My bad.
